


I'm Nervous Too

by mouses



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:14:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27812863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mouses/pseuds/mouses
Summary: Carina and Maya have moved in together, and this is one of their first nights in their apartment.
Relationships: Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Comments: 2
Kudos: 129





	I'm Nervous Too

It’s been six weeks since Maya had gone to Grey Sloan to beg for Carina’s forgiveness and tell her she loved her for the first time. It’s been five weeks since Maya had begun going to regular therapy sessions with Dr. Lewis. It’s been four weeks since Carina made the tough decision to quarantine separately as COVID-19 cases had been rising in Seattle. And it’s been exactly one very long week since Carina had gone to Maya’s office to ask her to move in together.

The last three days were spent moving out of Carina’s apartment, and into Maya’s. Maya’s apartment was bigger than Carina’s and just a little bit closer to the hospital, so the decision was easy on whose apartment they would move in to. Carina didn’t have a lot of stuff; she lived a very minimalist life before settling down in Seattle. She was mostly concerned about two things: her clothes and her Bialetti espresso maker. She needed to make sure Maya had enough closet space for her extensive wardrobe and a permanent space on the stove for her Bialetti. All the medical journals and files Carina had in her apartment she brought back to her office at the hospital, and she put her bed frame and big furniture in to a storage unit with the help of her brother. Anything else she needed, Maya already had.

Carina already spent the last few nights over at Maya’s, and they had their celebrations about moving in together. Now, they were getting settled on the couch after finishing a late dinner and polishing off a bottle of wine. Carina was sitting up on the couch with her feet on the coffee table. Maya was curled up and had her head on a pillow in Carina’s lap while she was scrolling through Netflix. It was the first moment where they were both relaxed, and for Carina it was just now sinking in that they were living together. Earlier in the day she had given her keys to her landlord and took her last lap around her apartment to make sure it was completely empty. She was stroking Maya’s hair, so lost in thought that she missed Maya’s first attempt at getting her attention.

“Carina?” Maya whispered for the second time now.

“Hmm?”

“Do you want to finally start The Queen’s Gambit?”

Carina looked up at the TV. “Sure, that’s good with me,” she said with a distance in her voice. They had kept saying they would start it when they had time and it came highly recommended by Vic and Travis.

“You okay?” Maya asked as she clicked enter on the remote and quickly clicked pause to turn her head to look up at Carina.

Carina looked down at Maya with a sad smile and teary eyes, “I’m okay. You can start the first episode.” 

Maya fully lifted off Carina’s lap and placed the remote on the coffee table. “Carina…” she pleaded. She settled back on the couch, sitting to the right of Carina, just like she had all those months ago when she asked her to go on vacation together. “Hey, I’m right here. What are you thinking about?” Maya reached over and wiped a single tear from Carina’s cheek.

Carina had the smallest smile on her face, “Sorry, I don’t know what’s going on. Everything is just hitting me all at once.” Carina pulled her knees in to her chest.

Maya moved just a little bit closer to Carina, placed her hand on Carina’s thigh, and began rubbing circles with her thumb. “Okay, come on,” she urged Carina to look over at her. “Please don’t apologize. What’s going on?”

Carina placed her right hand on top of Maya’s and looked over at her, trying not to let more tears fall. Carina let out a heavy breath, “I’m just—I’m so overwhelmed.” Maya moved her hand on top of Carina’s and began playing with one of Carina’s rings, nodding and willing her to keep talking. “I’m exhausted from work and I am worried about my brother all the time. And I’m worried about my family, and I just keep wondering about the next time I will be able to see them in person.” She let out a shaky breath, her voice cracking, “I’ve seen more death in the past few weeks than I have in my entire career. And now, I am sitting here with you and I am so happy, but my mind wanders just a little bit and all of a sudden I’m sad about what is happening all over the world and I am nervous about everything.” Carina looks down at Maya’s hand on hers and uses her left hand to wipe underneath her eyes.

“Hey, look at me,” Maya squeezes Carina’s hand. “I am feeling all of that too, okay? And I know this year has been anything but normal. But when I was talking to Dr. Lewis, she said it’s important to try and think of all the normal we will get back to. Like, I can’t wait until kids can come by the station for school trips again, or when I’ll be able to bring a coffee to your office, or have dinner at a restaurant with my friends.” Maya’s facial expression changes to one that is more serious. “Are you nervous about living together?”

“That’s normal, si?” Carina asked with a small smirk.

“I think it’s very normal. My mom used to tell me, ‘If you’re nervous, it means you care.’ And I’m nervous too, I don’t think I’ve felt this nervous in a long time.” Maya was still fidgeting with Carina’s ring, “And I know I am still working through a lot, but I’ve never been this happy before.” Maya blinked away her tears and gave Carina the most genuine smile.

Carina brought Maya’s hand up to her lips and kissed the back of her hand. “Me either,” she whispered. “I never thought this would happen for me, I never thought I would be in a relationship where I was _this_ happy. When I was younger, my friends would fantasize about their future, and I never understood them. I could never really picture my future.”

“Come on, you didn’t see a pandemic happening and then moving in with your girlfriend?”

Carina giggled and tilted her head to the side, “You know, I think that was in one of my friend’s fantasies. But now, I feel like I can _finally_ see my future.” Carina took her hand out of Maya’s, only to bring it up to the side of Maya’s face. She simultaneously moved closer and pulled Maya forward. Maya’s lips were soft, and the kiss was slow and familiar. Maya gently and playfully bit down on Carina’s bottom lip before soothing it with another short kiss.

They both pulled away but kept their foreheads touching. Carina’s eyes were still closed, both hands dropping to her lap. She smiled, “So we’ll be nervous together?”

“Yeah,” Maya whispered against Carina’s lips. “We’ll be nervous together.”

Maya pulled back and brought her hand up to tuck a stray hair behind Carina’s ear. Carina looked at Maya with nothing but adoration in her eyes. “I love you.”

“How much?” Maya teased, raising her eyebrows, while moving closer to Carina’s lips. What was intended to be a quick kiss from Maya is suddenly deepened by Carina. Maya pulls away slowly, “I love you too,” she whispers against Carina’s lips.

“I know,” Carina hums before pulling her back in.

“So that’s a no to Queen’s Gambit tonight?” Maya laughs between kisses.

Carina giggles, “I think Vic and Travis can wait for our review.”


End file.
